Tips and tricks - Picking up guys in bars.

Picking up Hot Guys (HG) in bars in a great way to start your PUA endeavours. We all go to bars to cruise for new talent. We dress up in all of our fanciest clothes and put on our best smiles. More importantly we drink, and that makes picking up boys at bars similar to shooting fish in a barrel (if you stay sober enough to think that is). I have two basic tricks for female PUAs wanting to pick up in this hottie hotspot: first, know how to separate yourself from the compitition; second, learn how to manage male expectations.

Separate yourself from the competition

I really struggled with this at first. I am definitely not a perfect 10. I would give myself a solid 8, but at a bar, I don't stand out. I like to dress up, but I am completely not the type of girl to wear ridiculously short shirts or low-cut tops to attract men. I'm not a prude: I'd much rather use fun, flirty body language with men and be comfortable. However, ladies if you have the rack and are comfortable, show it. If you handle yourself right, it won't matter. Just make sure you feel sexy

Now pay attention, this next statement is very important: The way I separate myself from the competition is by not playing the same games all women play at the bar. Being a PUA, whether it be male or female, is all about being the exception to the rule, which means doing the complete opposite of what everyone else is doing.

So what do men expect from women at the bar?

Stereotype one: women will hang out in big circles on the dancefloor, dancing around their coats and purses.

I go to the bar with two friends, so I can feel free to chat up men and not feel like I'm leaving my friends. Alternatively, my friends can individually do the same. men tend to hang out in groups of two. They are obsessed with the concept of the wingman, and two guys can usually approach three girls easily. I also don't hangout on the dance floor, but by the bar where all the boys hang out. Crazy idea huh?

Stereotype two: guys have to buy girls drinks.

I buy guys drinks. Did I just blow your mind? Sometimes it's the best way to establish a connection with a HG. Men are so used to being pressured to buy women drinks that when you order him a rye and coke (what guy doesn't drink that?) you will definitely get the kitty bowl of milk look (that's the 'wow this chick is sweet' look). You'll be a hero. Be a man about it too if you're so bold. After you've opened, and he's engaged just say "listen you're really cute, can I buy you a drink." If he says something like "wow it's great to have a girl buy the drinks," you can say "you can get the next one."

Stereotype three: the first thing a women will ask is 'what do you do' so that they can figure out how much money the guy makes

I have intersting, fun conversations with guys that don't include what they do or how much money they make. Make an impression first then ask those questions. I like to play a game. My favourite:

Me: Hey there

HG: hey

Me: so I just thought up a fun game, interested?

HG: what is it?

Me: Well, one of us picks a physical trait, like a chick with tights or a guy with his collar popped, and we'll both turn at the same time, and look around for someone in here who matches. The first person to find a match, wins. You in?

HG: cool, ok

It doesn't really matter who goes first, but when you on your turn, pick traits you would like to highlight in yourself. For example, I like to look for a girl in tights because then he thinks, "hey how are her legs?" You can cater it to yourself. If you have want to highlight your face, chose a person with facial peircings ect.
Another fun game is the 2 lies, 1 truth game. You pick two lies about yourself and one truth and try to get him to guess the truth. Get as silly as you want here.

Manage Expectations

I very much doubt that most HGs dream of meeting their life partner in a crowded night club after one too many beers. Don't be an idiot and expect him to call you the next day if you get hammered and either make out with him or go home with him. I have a rule: I never go home with guys from the bar . . . ever. If you go home with a guy, you become his conquest, and that is not power you ever want to give up. I also hardly ever kiss boys at the bar for the same reasons.

Managing that fine line between interest and physical contact can get a little tricky at first, but I like to touch guys in other ways that will make them want to call me the next day because they can't get me out of their head. Then they become my conquest. For example, if you structure your body language as such that he is always guessing if he can kiss you, most guys won't. If he does goes in, say something playful like "hey, that's not free" followed by a sexy smile . . . . "but this is." Then, put out a pen and write your number on his hand, say "maybe next time" and walk away. He'll call. Trust me. When you let go of his hand, be feminine, soft and linger. Remember look him in the eye and smile.

Funny enough, this is a trick I learned from my mother of all people. When I was 13 and told her about my very first kiss she said "now B don't ever give away too much with a man. He'll stick around much longer if you leave a little mystery behind you, and if he doesn't you won't be worse for it." Best advise about men I was ever given.