I have to admit, and I might have mentioned this before, but I have a great job. I travel quite a bit and get to network and chat with people all over the world. It's grand. When I was in Seattle for work in November I met a beautil man, and I could tell right away he was a brilliant PUA. He is one of the only men that has the ability to leave me completely speechless most of the time. We spent a couple great nights partying in Seattle and then we decided to continue the fun in his home town. Chicago.
I'm not exactly sure what to say about this man to help you all explain the ridiculousness of his life. He makes too much money for someone his age and is too gorgeous for his own good. As soon as I realized how completely in love with himself he is, we started to become decent friends instead of lovers. A very good choice.
Let me explain this man's pick up style to you: he does the most ridiculous stuff you can think of to get your attention. At first you think, yeah right buddy keep dreaming, until you turn around and realize how completely gorgeous he is; then all of a sudden it's cute.
When I met him, I was sitting chatting with a girlfriend and he had put a sticker on his crotch and stood beside me until I looked over and saw it. How the hell did THAT work? Maybe it was the Gucci shoes. I've seen him yell random symbols, throw his business card at girls, ask the stupidest questions such as "have you ever considered dating a gansta rapper." He even wore a cock ring around his ear for about an hour, so he could tell girls about it when they asked.
Let's think about it. Why is this guy, who is an obvious slut, (understatement) so good at picking up women with this attitude?
I'm sure the fact that he's gorgeous doesn't hurt, but his secret: he's so confident it's alluring. Women respond to confidence, especially the cocky funny* man - thank you David De'Angelo. Warning bells go off in our heads, but we can't stop the attraction if a man plays cocky funny right.
The great thing about my Chicago trip was that I learned the secret to winning this cocky funny game. It's not easy, but when done right you can take back the power in any social interaction. The entire concept of cocky funny builds it's momentum off 'negs.' The guy will act aloof or arrogant to take the social power away from you and put all of the attention onto him. When he negs you, he'll say little quips about you to his friends or try to disarm you with very pointed insults. This puts the fPUA in a tight spot because we can react in only one of two ways: we can get defensive which makes us look like a little hysterical, or we can retaliate which, may only encourage the behaviour. I like to play it by ear because it depends how funny vs. how arrogant the guy is. Oh, and btw, I've tried and negs really don't work as well on men as they do women. Too bad
Anyways, so with Chicago Guy (CG) I decide to throw his crap right back in his face. The way this guy negged me was by embarrassing me infront of random strangers. This conversation actually look place.
We were out of dinner with two of his friends. I went to the washroom and when I came back to the table, the waiter was filling water.
CG: Hey B, did you remember to wipe?
*at this point everyone turned to look at me at the table. I had a choice, get mad or get even*
B: no, I left a little bit for you. I know how you like it.
CG: *beautiful silence, shocked face*
CG's friend: wow you were told! look at the waiter laugh! hahah looks like you've met your match.
Where do I find them . . . Seriously?
I do realize that I didn't definitively tell you how to win with the cocky funny man. The trick in any social situtation is to analyze the roles that each person is playing. When you've thought about how everyone fits -including yourself- you can then decide the steps you need to take to manuvauer into a position of power. This is all about winning after all. Chicago guy was all about attention, but your guy may be different.
Happy Hunting
B
*Cocky and funny: also known as 'cocky comedy' can be called flirting, this refers to combination of arrogance and humor. A humorous mock arrogance intended to communicate with intelligence and being 'a challenge'. DeAngelo points out that it is important to get the balance right, as just using 'cocky' "comes across as insecure, and comedy alone usually comes across as goofy and dumb." "Cocky and Funny" is often abbreviated as "C&F."
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