The Girl who is one of the guys

And another blog post that came out of my favourite rational male cynic.
Andrew and I were having an in-depth conversation about women who have all-male friends. I used to be one of those girls. It wasn't until I forced myself to be around girls in University (I joined a sorority) that I could even be comfortable being in a room full of girls. Yes, I will admit I loved the attention the opposite sex provided, but more than that, boys just like to do the fun things that I like to do. Which would you rather do:

• lay on the beach in the sun or throw a frisbee around?
• drink wine and watch a Hugh Grant movie while paiting your toe nails or drink beer and play guitar hero until you can't stand anymore.

For me it was always the latter. When I was a kid, I played football with the boys while the girls hung out and gossiped on the playground. People knew me as a tom boy, and since I've turned into a decent-looking adult, all of a sudden I'm trouble because of who I associate with. As a result, I've been thinking a lot about the boundaries I set with my male friends, and I often wonder what exactly is going through their heads when they look at me.

My theory of women who surround themselves with guy-friends only is two-fold:

1. If you were a Tom-boy growing up, you are basically socialized to like the attention of men. As a woman, you'll most likely be an attention whore. These are the girls that all the boys desire because it doesn't matter how much you tell yourself that your guy relationships are strictly platonic, if they had the choice, they would sleep with you. This makes you unattainable and completely desirable, just because you have no clue. Once I came to terms with that fact and actually realized the power I have over the men in my life, expectations were easier to manage and surprisingly, my friendships improved a lot.

2. If you find yourself more comfortable surrounding yourself with men, maybe it has everything to do with feeling protected. This is especially important for women with no male siblings. I know women who often surround themselves with the 'superman' type of guy. If you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about the guy who owns a pickup truck, will help you move and come get you from any uncomfortable situation any time day or night. These guys make up for the lack of male role models you had growing up.

And what does all of this mean for the female PUA? Well, if you happen to be one of the girls who is also one of the guys, think very carefully about your intentions with the men you associate with. You could inadvertently be either leading these men on or using them. No judgement here, but you could lose your friends to jealous girlfriends or even lose a potential conquest because you underestimated the power of the girl who is also one of the guys.